Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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