I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
