'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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