Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
