I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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