Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
