R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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