Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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