I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
