I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
