Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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