My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
