saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
