Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
