1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
