i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize