Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
