Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
