Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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