: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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