I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize