Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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