when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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