He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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