D3 body, D1 cock
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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