Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
