I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
