And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize