I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
