so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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