never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
