I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
