You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
