If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
