This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
