so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
