In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
