Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
