Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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