He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
