I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
