You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She's JV to your varsity
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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