You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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