dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
