Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
