Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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