awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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