i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
