Say something about gay babies.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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