You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize