He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize