Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Of course I have a pirate flag
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
