well you can't waste a boner
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
