We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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