they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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