just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
