have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How does one acquire holy water?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
