Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
