Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Fuck appropriateness.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
