Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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