It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
