Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
