pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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